Low Sales? Don’t Blame the Economy, Blame IT!

1 | January 6th, 2009 | Posted in True Stories From the Tech Field, Work Is Wonderful

Every week, upper management has a meeting at our corporate headquarters.   Usually, I’m not involved unless I’m trying in vain to get some upgrade approved that will make all of our lives easier yet still gets shot down because IT isn’t really viewed as important.  I received an email earlier that I needed to attend the most recent one which was this morning.  All I was told ahead of time was that it involved our sales department.  I didn’t think much of it, I just figured maybe they wanted to hear some suggestions for something related to the programs we use or something like that.

So after an hour or so of dozing off even though I was heavily caffeinated, we got to the sales part of the meeting.  After a few minutes of describing that sales are low, that they should be higher, and basically everything that if you pay even a little bit of attention to the economy right now you would expect from sales, they turn to me.  They explain that they have been spending the past month talking to their managers and trying to figure out why sales are so alow and have been consistently low for the past few months.  Then they tell me what they beleive the cause is: IT.

Apparently the managers were mostly telling their bosses that the reason for their low sales is because they have trouble selling, making their calls and doing their day to day routine because of the computers.  The computers are too slow.  Sometimes their computers don’t work.  The sales people can’t do their job when the systems they have.  Then they ask me if there is validity to what they have been told.   There were a number of things that came to mind that I could’ve responded with:

  • “Oh, you mean the computers that are nearly 5 years old that I’ve been trying to get replaced or upgraded for 2 years now?”
  • “Actually, apparently there is this thing going on in the country right now called The Total Fucking Collapse of Our Economy.  Maybe you’ve heard of it?”
  • “You know it’s funny that you mention that, I have logs that I can pull up and show that your employees are all incompetent liars.  I have proof for that statement as well”
  • “Well, I’ve also been spending less and less lately.  Not because our economy is in terrible state, but because the stores’ computer systems are slow too.”
  • “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

So basically I just responded, “Well, I don’t know if that’s the case.  I monitor our network and systems regularly and there haven’t been any major spikes and all help issues have been fixed in a timely fashion.  If there are problems, we aren’t aware of them but we’ll take care of them.”  Sure, there are lots of things I wanted to say besides the list above.  I mean, I was acting as a scapegoat because no one wants to acknowledge that maybe there is a problem out there that isn’t in our control and maybe some serious questions need to be asked regarding structure and expectations.  Or maybe someone should crack open a newspaper.  However, after the years I’ve been here I know that they aren’t looking for solutions and just someone to blame.  It’s a good thing that the person I directly report to knows that this isn’t our fault.  I wonder how this will play out.   Based on past experience, I’m sure that like all the other problems, it’ll be ignored or swept on the rug.

10 Mistakes New Windows Administrators Make

0 | January 5th, 2009 | Posted in True Stories From the Tech Field, Work Is Wonderful

There was an interesting article posted on Tech Republic’s blog a few weeks ago entitled “10 mistakes new Windows administrators make”.   I’ve been in the IT field for a while, but even experienced administrators aren’t immune to some of these.  Here’s a few that stood out to me.

Trying to change everything at once - I’m definitely guilty of this.  When I first started at the company I work out now, there were clear infrastructure, security and hardware problems.  In a rare show of ethusiasm, I took a day and make extensive notes regarding what was wrong and what was needed to fix it.  I put up a white board and filled it with tasks, and set out to right the wrongs of the previous IT department.

That’s when the fights began.  Fights with upper management for the resources to make things better.  Fights with end users when trying to change proceses.  Fights with the help requests that were coming in and taking all of my time.  I quickly learned that the company I work for wasn’t interested in making things better, because that would require effort on their end to either adapt or approve new expenses.  You know, difficult things like remembering a password, not letting everyone use your computer, not being on MySpace all day and not being allowed full access to everything on the network. In the end, cynicism set in and I just didn’t care anymore.  However, over the past few years I have slowly implemented most of what I wanted to in the first place although we still have tons of security issues because upper management simply doesn’t care.  Ah, the days when I was Idealistic IT Manager.

Overestimating the technical expertise of end users - I still run into this one all the time.  You know, expecting them to know the difference between right and left click, knowing how to use spellcheck, not using IM-speak in professional emails, giving details when sending in an issue instead of vague, esoteric comments regarding their system and expecting me to be a mind reader, things like that.

Underestimating the technical expertise of end users - This one is true too.  I never realized the extent that people would try to learn new things just so they can find a way around the web filter or hide files from IT.

Faliling to test backups - Is there a better way to test a backup then when a crucial server fails and you are forced to restore it?  There is?  Oh, so maybe you should have a test environment.  But wait, management won’t approve the expense?  They don’t see the point?  Well surely when something fails they will understand if something goes wrong with the restore because up until this point you haven’t been able to test it.  They won’t?  Well, shit.

Pointless Waste of IT Time: PCs for Children

0 | April 25th, 2007 | Posted in Pointless Waste of IT Time, True Stories From the Tech Field, Work Is Wonderful

At each one of our remote locations, there is an area that essentially is day care center. Currently the setup is similar to one of those kids areas that you see at McDonalds with a jungle gym area, but also with a few TVs and video games and a larger area.

The Operations Manager calls me into his office and discusses his plans for these day care areas. Right now, about half of the day care areas have a PC setup to check the kids in and to insure that their parents are actually paying for the service. He wanted to make sure that we had a roll out schedule for the rest of the branches. I told him that it shouldn’t be a problem and that we’ll get the PCs ordered.

Then he says: “Oh yeah, and I also want computers in each day care area for the children to use. How long will that take?”

Well considering I really had no idea what he was talking about and felt blind sided by this request, I asked, “Um, well what do you mean you want the children to use them? What would they be using it for?”

He proceeded to explain to me that one of the competitors has a setup where they have computers setup so that the kids can do their homework, play with some learning programs and similar software. They had those terminals set up instead of the video game kiosks that we have. I asked if we would be doing away with the video games. He said no, we’d be keeping those. I asked, “Well, do you think the kids are going to want to learn, or would they rather play video games?” He said that they were mostly there for the parents’ benefit and that we was sure the kids wouldn’t use them much. I asked why should we implement them if the parents are already paying for the service?

Of course, this was an argument that was doomed from the start. So now, in addition to the full month that I already have, I also have to research children’s learning programs. So in conclusion we’ll be paying thousands of dollars just to match up with the competition and deploy around 30 computers that will probably rarely be used. The IT Department loses again!

RPC over HTTP on Exchange 2003 - A Lesson

1 | April 24th, 2007 | Posted in True Stories From the Tech Field, Work Is Wonderful

The past two days I had to undergo what I believed to be a fairly simple task: Setting up our Exchange 2003 Server for RPC over HTTP. This was basically because we have a few people complaining that hey have to use Outlook Web Access instead of the Outlook client when they are at home or, those working at a remote location. The remote locations are set up with VPN connections, but it’s really too slow to have Outlook setup at each PC.

This wasn’t necessarily my decision to implement this. I see the benefits and I don’t have a VPN connection at home, so I wouldn’t mind using it but I don’t exactly have a pattern of making more work for myself when I have enough already. Rather, this decision was made by management after receiving these complaints from their underlings at the branches:

Complaint: I don’t have email at my PC.

The Truth: They don’t have the Outlook client setup at their PC. They do have email by means of Outlook Web Access. Adding to the irony, this particular complaint was sent in an email.

Complaint: I can’t put those items that you wanted on my Task List because I don’t have Outlook.

The Truth: Task lists are accessible in Outlook Web Access. It’s right there underneath the Inbox. Right in front of you.

Complaint: I wasn’t able to get that email to you right away because I don’t have Outlook. Outlook Web Access doesn’t get email right away.

The Truth: Give me a break, now you’re just reaching for excuses to not have to work. There’s even a little pop up box when you get a new email. It’s fast enough for your personal email.

But I digress. So anyway, yesterday I blocked off a few hours to implement this. I understood the concept and what was necessary and so I thought that by freeing up two hours, I was being more than generous.

I just finished it right now. One day and 3 hours later.

There is absolutely no reason why it shouldn’t have taken that long. There was a nice lesson learned though, and I’ll share it with you now:

READ EVERYTHING

I had everything setup within 30 minutes. However, I spent almost a day and a half troubleshooting why it wasn’t working. Finally, after reading and re-reading the same 15 articles/columns/websites, my eyes settled on something I had previously skipped over: When connecting from outside the domain - you have to import the SSL certificate. Every article pretty much stated the same thing. However, I skipped over it every time because it was always in the middle of a paragraph that started talking about how you needed a SSL certificate for your Exchange server. I thought, “Well I don’t need to read this, we already have one”. As soon as I imported the certificate everything started working like magic. Magic that took too long and gave me a migraine in the process. Lesson learned.

Happy IT Manager: Guitar Hero 2

0 | April 23rd, 2007 | Posted in Happy IT Manager, Video Games

So everyone once and a while, there are things that come along and take away the rage and fury that come from being in the IT field. One of those things is a video game franchise that has been given to us by God himself, Guitar Hero.

At the end of 2005, the first Guitar Hero came out for the PS2 and within the Angry IT Manager household there was much rocking. Being that I’m a huge fan of most of the music that is featured and the fact that I, like a number of devil-horn-raising rock enthusiasts, have long played air guitar while at home, driving in the car or walking down a busy street… well it was a match made in heaven. Many hours were spent mastering every song on the tracklist and eventually the entire game was completed on every difficulty level. However, the feeling that I had to constantly increase my score on each song pretty much made me pick it up obsessively on a regular basis. Until Guitar Hero 2 was released for the PS2.

The day Guitar Hero 2 came out, I went to Circuit City on my lunch and picked it up (because Circuit City was giving a free GH2 beanie with purchase and I’m a dork like that). In a lapse of judgment, I decided to also take it home and just try a few songs. Three hours later I decided that it would probably be in my best interest to go back to work and hope that nobody noticed that I had gone AWOL. Thankfully it was a slow day and was office door is usually closed, so no one had.

I’m a firm believer that for me, Guitar Hero is probably the perfect video game. Music is a large part of my life and I’m somewhat of a rock aficionado so playing Guitar Hero always puts me in a good mood. Sure there’s frustration (it took me a solid month to beat Bark At The Moon, the final song on the first Guitar Hero, on Expert) but that is surpassed by the feeling of joy and accomplishment that comes from not only beating that hard song you’ve been working on, but nailing some of the faster solos.

A typical day for me involves the following:

1) “Waking up” in the morning and stumbling around until I get my caffeine fix

2) A full day of work that involves lots of gritted teeth, remarks under my breath and random screaming and throwing things. Also, headaches.

3) Coming home, working out for a bit to work out a little frustration.

4) Playing Guitar Hero and working out the rest.

A few weeks ago I picked up Guitar Hero and a XBox 360. With the online leaderboards and achievement points, my addiction has increased and my obsessive compulsive tendencies have been working on overdrive. Please though Activision, no My Chemical Romance for GH3.

Mail Snooping = More Fun

1 | April 20th, 2007 | Posted in Tech Rants, True Stories From the Tech Field, Work Is Wonderful

We recently received the go ahead to order some mail snooping software for our company. Management has decided that personal email may be a large problem (it is) and damaging to productivity. So, they want surveillance software attached to our Exchange server to prov this. Never mind that they already know that it’s a problem and that all they have to do is tighten the screws on their middle and lower management to curb it. Hell, I even said we can block outgoing and incoming emails outside of our domain. In fact, even though the belief is that everyone within the organization needs an email address, the fact of the matter is that only a few actually do. There seems to be an easier, cheaper solution than spending thousands of dollars on an email surveillance system. Oh well, let’s just go ahead and throw money at the problem instead of trying the other solutions first. Never mind the fact that most of the people involved in approving projects and expenses as well as making the important decisions in the company are also the biggest offenders.

I’m not complaining too much though, it will almost certainly mean more fun for me. Let’s be honest, when you are the one spying on others - it can be pretty fun. Having a web filter has certainly taught me that. So even though it’s a hassle to set it up, and I’d rather the money be spent on a company car for the department since I’m on the road constantly, I’ll take what I can get. Coming Soon: Mail Surveillance Drinking Game.

(Yes, it has been a while since the last post and yes this is a low key way of resuming posting, but let’s just choose to ignore that shall we?)

Things I Hate Hearing: ASAP

0 | December 18th, 2006 | Posted in Things I Hate Hearing, True Stories From the Tech Field, Work Is Wonderful

When used in some circumstances, I don’t mind it so much. However, it’s so overused that it ends 70% of the sentences that I see in emails. “I need this fixed ASAP”, “Get me a new monitor ASAP”, “Stop ignoring my emails and phone calls ASAP” are all examples of instances where the very sight of those four letters drive me nuts.

People use ASAP to tell you that they take priority over everything else that you have scheduled. Well, last time I checked a mouse that needs to be cleaned out doesn’t even take priority over me re-tying my shoes let alone whatever I’m working on. What people don’t realize is that by using “ASAP”, I pretty much either ignore them for the moment or move them to the bottom of the pile. If something is a priority, it’s pretty easy to tell. If the CEO calls regarding something directly, that’s a priority. If a server is down, that’s a priority. Forgotten your password or username? Not a priority. Internet down? Priority. You changed the resolution on your monitor and don’t know how to change it back? Not a priority. Here’s an example of typical usage and an actual email I received today:

I am trying to setup a wireless connection to a laptop in the trailer here in ********. What is the Network key? Let me know ASAP!

I forgot, usually a exclamation point is added for extra ASAP-ness. These are usually the requests I get that end in an ASAP. The manager that sent this email works at a club where there are no authorized or company provided laptops. So what can he possibly be talking about? Maybe a personal laptop so he can surf the internet? Why is that a priority for me? Those are the kinds of emails that I don’t even assign to anyone, I just delete them. At least he used proper grammar and didn’t type in all caps.

Web Filter Drinking Game

0 | December 15th, 2006 | Posted in Etc, Tech Rants, Work Is Wonderful

  • Everytime someone goes to eBay - 1 drink
  • Everytime someone tries to bank online - 1 drink
  • Everytime someone tries to stream music - 1 drink
  • Everytime someone tries to get to MySpace - 1 drink
  • Everytime someone tries to get to MySpace a second time within 2 minutes after the first failed attempt - 2 drinks
  • Everytime someone tries to get to MySpace 5 times in 5 minutes - 3 drinks
  • Everytime someone tries to get to MySpace the next morning thinking that the Web Filter will magically let them - 4 drinks
  • Everytime someone tries to view pornography - 2 drinks
  • Everytime an infected machine tries to “phone home” - 1 drink

I love this Web Filter.

Web Filters Are Entertaining

0 | December 14th, 2006 | Posted in True Stories From the Tech Field, Work Is Wonderful

This week we installed a Barracuda Web Filter on our network.  During the testing process, I set a Group Policy on one of our departments (which is basically our equivalent of a Call Center, which means they are also the lowest paid and more prone to myspacing and downloading viruses and animated emoticons) to use it as their proxy server.  I knew that they were abusing the internet, (numerous clean-ups of viruses and spyware were my first inclination) but I didn’t realize the full scope until I started viewing the logs.

The company I work for has never had web filtering or tracking.  They didn’t view it as important, trusting their employees on basically on “internet honor code”.  It’s taken about a year to convince them to buy a web filtering/reporting system and that’s only after I showed them how much time is spent cleaning up malware.  Oh, and the rampant pornography surfing helped convince them as well.

Even though I’ve worked in IT for over 6 years, I still continue to be surprised, nay, impressed at the audacity of employees and what they surf at work.  Personally, I’d never go to streaming porn sites while at work, but apparently some do.  I also wouldn’t spend all day on Monster.com, but again, some of my fellow co-workers do.  Even as I type this, someone is searching a few auction sites furiously for a Nintendo Wii.

I feel like a child with a new toy.  Very rarely since I’ve been here have I been able to get something that we needed and that would make my job a little easier, to say nothing of making the day a little more entertaining.  Now if I could only get them to agree to removing users from the Administrator group on their local PCs - well I’d be very happy indeed.

Computers ‘could store entire life by 2026′

0 | December 14th, 2006 | Posted in Uncategorized

From Telegraph by way of Digg: “A device the size of a sugar cube will be able to record and store high resolution video footage of every second of a human life within two decades, experts say. A nice way to chronicle your life, or a step towards the nanny state?”

My favorite piece of the article is this: “Imagine having a personal companion that whines at you three times a day, telling you that you are eating the wrong things and that you spent more than you earned today. The scary thing is it might be foisted on us.”

Apparently Mr. Lynch isn’t married.

read more | digg story

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